[Haruka is quiet for a moment, looking at Xiao with a small frown. Guilt is eating at him, even if maybe it’s nothing he should feel guilty over. He’s causing a scene and maybe even putting himself in danger, inconveniencing everyone else on the island dealing with all of this madness together.
It just… It doesn’t feel real, and he doesn’t know how everyone else can be so calm about it.]
…Sorry.
[He takes a breath, letting it out through his nose.]
You don’t have to do that. You should be watching out for yourself, and I’m sure… protecting someone like me would be way too difficult.
[Does he even deserve to be protected? That would just cause Xiao so many problems, wouldn’t it?]
[It’s hard to admit to a near stranger, but this is… life and death, isn’t it? And it’s the one thing that’s always eaten at Haruka, the entire reason he even agreed to leave Japan with Kujou…]
I don’t want to be a burden on you.
[He wants to be protected - he’s not a complete idiot, but he’s too afraid of burdening Xiao and making things harder for him.
What if protecting Haruka puts Xiao in danger? Even if he’s saying it’s his duty, Haruka doesn’t know if he could actually live with himself if someone got hurt for his sake.]
Besides, maybe… nobody will believe them, so all of this talk is just entirely pointless? Haha…
It would be in your best interests to stop being so foolish.
[ There's a tinge of irritation in his voice, if only because he doesn't like how stubborn Haruka is being. Yet -- ]
Regardless...it is your choice. I won't press the issue any further; you must make the call yourself.
[ He's worried, but Xiao knows better than to pressure someone into making a decision like this. If Haruka has the will to survive, if he truly wants to live despite the circumstances they're under, then he will call Xiao when the time is right. ]
[He winces at that, curling in tighter on himself. Xiao's right, it would be stupid to not take the protection offered to him...
But he still feels guilty. At least, he thinks, it's just him here, and not one of the other members of ZOOL. The thought of them being in danger makes him feel even worse, even if they all might be better equipped at getting out of this alive.]
I'm sorry. I just...
[...]
I don't want to die, and it's scary to know I might, but I don't... I don't want someone to get hurt because of me, either, but... i-if you're sure...
[ Although Xiao has long since let go of the fear of death, he understands that it can be daunting to many living beings. He won't give his life away haphazardly; if he dies protecting Haruka, it will mean something. Even if it gives Haruka only one more day to live, it will have been worth it. ]
I would not have offered if I wasn't certain. Send me a message through the device if you are in any danger.
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It just… It doesn’t feel real, and he doesn’t know how everyone else can be so calm about it.]
…Sorry.
[He takes a breath, letting it out through his nose.]
You don’t have to do that. You should be watching out for yourself, and I’m sure… protecting someone like me would be way too difficult.
[Does he even deserve to be protected? That would just cause Xiao so many problems, wouldn’t it?]
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[ Not harm. Not unless he has to, in order to do what he needs to. ]
I didn't lie when I said I have been around for centuries; I am capable of holding my own in battle. I don't need your concern.
[ Which sounds cold, but Xiao means it. He doesn't need the concern of someone who can't fend for themselves against most, if not all the others. ]
I cannot stay here and chat for much longer, but the offer is there.
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I don’t want to be a burden on you.
[He wants to be protected - he’s not a complete idiot, but he’s too afraid of burdening Xiao and making things harder for him.
What if protecting Haruka puts Xiao in danger? Even if he’s saying it’s his duty, Haruka doesn’t know if he could actually live with himself if someone got hurt for his sake.]
Besides, maybe… nobody will believe them, so all of this talk is just entirely pointless? Haha…
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[ There's a tinge of irritation in his voice, if only because he doesn't like how stubborn Haruka is being. Yet -- ]
Regardless...it is your choice. I won't press the issue any further; you must make the call yourself.
[ He's worried, but Xiao knows better than to pressure someone into making a decision like this. If Haruka has the will to survive, if he truly wants to live despite the circumstances they're under, then he will call Xiao when the time is right. ]
no subject
But he still feels guilty. At least, he thinks, it's just him here, and not one of the other members of ZOOL. The thought of them being in danger makes him feel even worse, even if they all might be better equipped at getting out of this alive.]
I'm sorry. I just...
[...]
I don't want to die, and it's scary to know I might, but I don't... I don't want someone to get hurt because of me, either, but... i-if you're sure...
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[ Although Xiao has long since let go of the fear of death, he understands that it can be daunting to many living beings. He won't give his life away haphazardly; if he dies protecting Haruka, it will mean something. Even if it gives Haruka only one more day to live, it will have been worth it. ]
I would not have offered if I wasn't certain. Send me a message through the device if you are in any danger.
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There’s still a brief moment of hesitation, though.]
Is the phone really the best idea…?
[boomer]
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[ He doesn't elaborate on why, but there's something about his expression that shows that it's not entirely by choice. ]
Otherwise, I am in the "Dodo" room. Bear in mind that there are other residents, but I will be there in the late hours of the evening.
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[That look on his face... It's strange, and Haruka wants to press him on why he's looking at him like that, but... he lets it go.
For now, at least.]
Okay. Alright.
[He straightens up.]
If I need any help, I'll call you.